What Happens When Koko Feels Left Out?

K
Koko

Owlo, I need to talk to you about something that happened at recess today.

O
Owlo

Of course, Koko. Come sit with me in the garden. What is on your mind?

K
Koko

Mia and Benny were playing a game together, and they didn't ask me to join. I just stood there by myself.

O
Owlo

Oh, that sounds like it felt really uncomfortable. How did that make you feel inside?

K
Koko

My tummy felt funny, and my chest felt kind of heavy. I didn't know what to do, so I just walked away.

O
Owlo

That feeling you described, Koko, has a name. It is called feeling left out.

K
Koko

Left out? Like I was on the outside of something?

O
Owlo

Exactly right. Imagine a warm, cozy circle of friends. When you feel left out, it feels like you are standing just outside that circle.

K
Koko

Yes! That is exactly what it felt like. It made me feel a little sad and a little mad at the same time.

O
Owlo

Both of those feelings make perfect sense. Feeling sad and a little angry when you are left out is very normal.

K
Koko

So everyone feels this way sometimes? Even you, Owlo?

O
Owlo

Even me, when I was young. I remember a time when the other owls flew off to explore without telling me. I felt very alone that afternoon.

K
Koko

Wow, I didn't know that. What did you do?

O
Owlo

I sat quietly for a moment and let myself feel sad. Then I thought about what I could do next.

K
Koko

You didn't just stay sad forever?

O
Owlo

Feelings are like clouds, Koko. They come, and they pass. The important thing is what we do while we wait for them to pass.

K
Koko

So what CAN I do when I feel left out?

O
Owlo

Let's think about this together. We have our thinking bench right here in the garden. Let's sit and make a little plan.

O
Owlo

First, it always helps to take a slow, deep breath. It calms your body down so you can think clearly.

K
Koko

Like breathing in the smell of the flowers here in the garden?

O
Owlo

Exactly like that. Then, you can ask yourself a simple question. Is there someone nearby who might also want a friend right now?

K
Koko

Oh! Like maybe someone else was also standing alone at recess and I just didn't notice?

O
Owlo

That happens more often than you might think. Sometimes two lonely friends are standing very close to each other without realizing it.

K
Koko

That is kind of funny and kind of sweet at the same time.

O
Owlo

And if you feel brave enough, you can also walk up to Mia and Benny and simply ask if you can join them.

K
Koko

But what if they say no? That would feel even worse.

O
Owlo

That is a very honest worry. Sometimes people do say no, and that stings a little. But it also means you were brave enough to try.

K
Koko

I think I could be brave enough. Maybe just a tiny bit brave.

O
Owlo

A tiny bit brave is more than enough to start. And remember, true friends will always make room for you in their circle.

K
Koko

Owlo, do you think Mia and Benny meant to leave me out on purpose?

O
Owlo

Most of the time, Koko, friends don't mean to leave each other out. They simply get excited and forget. It is not always about you.

K
Koko

That actually makes me feel a little better. Maybe they just forgot.

O
Owlo

Talking to them tomorrow and telling them how you felt is a wonderful idea. Good friends want to know when they have made you sad.

K
Koko

I can do that. I'll tell them it made me feel left out, and that I wanted to play too.

O
Owlo

That is a very grown-up and kind thing to do, Koko. I am really proud of you.

K
Koko

Okay, Owlo, so let me think about everything we talked about today.

K
Koko

Feeling left out is normal, and everyone feels it sometimes, even Owlo. When it happens, I should breathe slowly and look around for someone who might need a friend too. I can also be brave and ask to join in. And if a friend left me out by accident, I can talk to them about it kindly. Oh, and feelings are like clouds. They don't stay forever!

O
Owlo

That is a perfect summary, Koko. You remembered every single bit of it.

K
Koko

Next time I want to learn about how to be a really good friend so nobody ever has to feel left out in the first place.

O
Owlo

Now that, my dear Koko, is a wonderful thing to look forward to learning.