Why Do We Feel Jealous?
Join Owlo and Koko as they explore the feeling of jealousy and learn that it's okay to feel this way sometimes.
About this story
Join Owlo and Koko as they explore the feeling of jealousy and learn that it's okay to feel this way sometimes.
What you'll learn
- Understand what jealousy is
- Recognize feelings of jealousy
- Learn that it's normal to feel jealous
Owlo! Owlo! I need to talk to you about something that happened today.
Come in, Koko. You look like you have a lot on your mind. What happened?
So, my friend Benny got a brand new shiny red scooter. And I felt this really yucky feeling inside. Like my tummy was all tight and grumpy.
Oh, I think I know that feeling. Can you tell me more about what it felt like?
It felt like I wanted the scooter to be mine. And I didn't want Benny to have it. Is that really bad?
That feeling has a name, Koko. It is called jealousy. Almost everyone feels it sometimes, even grown-ups.
Even you, Owlo?
Yes, even me. When I was young, my friend had a beautiful telescope. I wanted it so badly. I felt that same tight, grumpy feeling you described.
So jealousy is when you really want something that someone else has?
That is exactly right. Jealousy is a feeling that shows up when we see someone else with something we wish we had. It can be a toy, a talent, or even a friend's attention.
But why does our brain even make that feeling? It doesn't feel nice at all.
That is such a thoughtful question. Our feelings are like little messengers. Jealousy is telling us something important about what we care about.
Like, it told me I really care about scooters?
Exactly! And it also might mean you care about feeling included and having fun with your friends. The feeling itself is not bad. What matters is what we do with it.
What do you mean, what we do with it?
Well, let me show you something. Come with me to the art room. I want to try a little activity with you.
Here we go. I want you to draw two faces for me. One face that shows jealousy, and one face that shows something better.
Okay! The jealous face is easy. Big frowny eyebrows and a grumpy mouth. Done!
Perfect. Now, what feeling do you think could replace the jealousy? What would feel better?
Maybe... being happy for Benny? Like, happy that he got something cool?
That feeling is called being happy for someone else. Some people call it feeling glad for a friend. It takes a little practice, but it feels so much better inside.
It sounds hard though. My tummy was really grumpy.
It is hard at first. Here is a little trick that helps. When you feel jealous, try saying to yourself, my turn will come too. And then think of something you already have that is wonderful.
Like my painting set! Nobody else has one like mine.
There you go. And you know what? Benny might even let you ride his scooter if you ask nicely. Jealousy can actually remind us to talk to our friends.
Oh! I didn't even think of that. I was too busy feeling grumpy to ask.
That happens to all of us. The grumpy feeling can be so loud that we forget the simple things. But now you know what to do next time.
So jealousy isn't evil? It's just a messenger?
Exactly. It is just a feeling, not a command. You get to decide what to do after you feel it. That is the important part.
I think I want to go find Benny and say congratulations on his scooter. And maybe ask for a turn.
That sounds like a wonderful plan. But first, can you tell me what you learned today? I love hearing it in your own words.
Okay! So, jealousy is that grumpy tummy feeling when someone else has something you really want. Everybody feels it, even old wise owls. It is just a messenger that tells you what you care about. And instead of staying grumpy, you can think about what you already have, or just ask your friend nicely. Oh, and next time I feel jealous, I will remember that my turn will come too. Maybe next time it will be a scooter. Or a really big paintbrush.
That was a perfect summary, Koko. I am very proud of you. Now go find Benny, and have fun.
